Brinkers Dad

Brinker wanted me to see his dad. So, we went down to the Butt room. His dad had a cigar and we talked about where we are going to after Devon. I said I wanted to wait and get drafted but, if i did that not they might put me staright in the infantry and that is the dirtiest and also dangerous branch of all. I then told him that i joined the Navy and that they are sending me to Pensacola. Mr. Hadley i can tell didn't seem to care for the sound of what i said. I then said that Brinker is off the to Coast Guard. Mr. Hardley was not please about that. Brinker then tried to exaplin to his dad that the Coast Guard does some very rough stuff, putting the men on the beaches, all that amphibios stuff. His father then said that he has to do what he thinks is right and make sure thatit the right thing in the long run, just not for the moment. He also said that your war memories will be with and that you forever and you will be asked millions of questions and that people will get their respect from you, but if you can say that you were up front wher ethere was some real shooting then that woudl will mean a whole lot to you in years to come. His father would not stop talking. He then said "You want to serve, that's all. It's you greatest momentm greatest privilege, to serve you country. We're all proud of you, and we're all jelous of you too." Brinker i can tell was getting a little annoyed and he told his dad that we will do what he want. His father told him that we can do more, a lot more if we want a military record that you can be proud of, that we can do a lot more. Brinker was getting upset i can tell. His father then left. Brinker told me that he wishes he father would stop with the lectures and i told him it's alright. I could tell that Birnker and his dad did not see eye to eye. Brinker then told me that he is enlisting and that the war is all about children and if i ever noticed it.

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goodbye Finny :(

When Finny fell, it effected his bad leg. The doctor said that it was maybe a fracture and can be fixed. That night I snuck and went to Finny's window. He was extrmely mad a very upset. I was telling him that i was sorry and he tried so hard to move form the bed that he fell out of the bed his hand hitting the floor and his legs still up on the bed. I turned around from the window and squated down. I didn't know what to do. The next morning i woke up to a message from the doctor saying that i needed to bring Finny his clothes and his toliet things. I then got his suitcase and brought it over to him. He made me sit in on the bed for him and the way he said it to me was without friendliness or unfriendliness, not interested and not bored, not energenci and not languid. I out the suitcase down beside him and opened it. He was searching for it and i was just standing there. I finally said to Finny that the time i came to Boston i tried to tell him about the accident. He then asked me why i came lastnight and i told him becuase i felt like i belonged there, that i had to. Then Finny told me that he wished there wasn't a war. The reaosn for this being is because he wants to be in the war. He applied everywhere and they would not accept him because of his injury. Everyone told him that they didn't need him. That was the reaosn why he kept saying that there isn't a war, becuase he wanted to be a part of it but no one would allow him. I tried to tell him that he really doesn't need to be in the war and that he wouldn't do any good. I told him that he would hate EVERYWHERE if he went there. Finny then responded with "I'll hate it everywhere if I'm not in this war!" Then Finny asked me if in knew what i was doing up in the tree with him. I told him that i did but that how can he believe me? He said that he can or he thinks he can. Finally, he closed his eyes and with tears in them he said," I believe you. It's okay because i understand and I believe you. You're already shown me and i belive you." For the rest of the day it passed by quickly. Finny was going to get surgery and Dr. Stanpole was going to set the bone that afternoon. He told me to come back at 5:00. So, for the rest of the day I attened all my classes. Then around came 5 and i went to see Finny. The doctor had his head down and I was siitting in a chair. He but barely noticed me. He cuaght himself short and then sat down next to me. He put his hand on my lap and said that boys my age are going to have to deal with this now alot. He then told me that my bestfriend had died. He said that he thinks that as he was moving the one some of the marrow must have escaped into his blood stream and gond directly to his heart and stopped it. He said that's the only explanation. I hten noticed that his self-control was breaking up. It then actually came to me that Finny had died form the marrow of his bone flowing down his blood stream to his heart. I did not cry every about Finny. I didn't even cry at his funeral. I could not escape a feeling that htis was my own funeral, and you do not cry in that case.

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Trying to get the facts

Brinker decided to come in to Finny and mine's room and take us to the Assebly Hall. He wanted to get the fact straights about Finny's leg. I was getting a little scared because i didn't want the to think i pushed him. So the sat Finny down and asked him what had happened. He said that he was up in the tree and that i was down at the bottom of the tree. Finny did not exactly know the whole story and he kind of forgot it a little bit. So what they did was bring in Leper, becuase he was there and he remebers most of the details. He mostly remebers the little things. So Leper was brought in and told his story. He said that he saw two bodies up on the tree branch, but he couldn't see them becuase the sun was in his eyes and that he had to cover them. But he said once he covered them he could see the two bodies but they looked blacked. He said that the one guy was next to the trunk, holdiong the trunk of the tree. The other one was alittle farther out on the limb. Then he said they bothed moved like an engine. He said the one holding on to the trunk sank for a second, up and down like a piston, and then the other one sank and fell. Then Brinker broke in and said that the one who fell was Phineas. Then all of sudden Leper felt that he souldn't be telling the rest of the story. He said that he is not a fool anymore and that he had information that might be dangerous. Phineas had heard to much and got up and said that he doesn't care anymore. Brinker then said that he doesn't have the fact and thats when Phineas freaked on him. Then Finny walked quickly out and then he was walking down the steps and fell.

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Psyco

I went to go visit Leper, since he sent that telegram. Since the telegram said his Christmas location, i figured it would be his house. I stopped by and i walked right into his house i foud him in his dinning room. We then stayed in the dinning room. He was telling me that he was trying to please himself with the war. Then he went into saying how he escaped the war. He started getting angry when i wasn't understanding what he meant by escaping the war. He then said to me that i was thinking of him as a pysco. The worst part is i hated teh sound of that word. It had a sudden mental-ward reality about it. I then told him that he makes me sick with his army words. He then told me that they were going to give him a discharge, a Section Eight discharge. I had no idea what that was or even meant. Leper then explained to me that it is for the nuts in the service, the psycos, the Funny Farm candidates. He also said that once you get that discharge you can't get a job after it, since everyone wants to see your discharge and then they see a Section Eight discharge they look at you funny and say there is not an opening. That it bascially means you're screwed for life. I was getting a little upset, just for the fact that he was yelling at me. Then all of a sudden he started laughing and saying how he always knew deep down i was a savage. And then he brought up how i knocked Finny out of the tree. Now this got me mad and i ended up shoving my foot against the run of his chair and kicked it. I knocked him down and his mother came down the steps yelling what happened. I didn't know what to do so alls i said was that i was sorry and that he started saying crazt stuff. Then thats when it hit me that Leper wasn't lieing that he was really was pysco. His mother had told me that her boy is ill. Now during this Leper was laughing and his mother was helping his up the stairs. I was about to leave except Leper told me to stay (laughing) and stay for lunch. During lunch Leper didn't eat very ,uch except i was feeling a bit embarrassed when i asked for seconds. Then toward the end of the meal his mother began to speak to me. I hten apologized to her and when she offered me a second dessert i then knew she had accepted it. She also then said that that Leper is a good boy underneath and that he is sorry. After lunch I went for a walk with Leper and he started telling me about all his crazy thoughts. I then had to leave because simply i couldn't listen to it anymore. I told him i didn't care and i left him.

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Winter Carnival page

Since Finny came back he decided he wanted to have a Winter Carnival. There had never been one. The Carnival was taken place at the park next to Naguamsett. Finny wanted the main attraction to be sports. They consisted of ski jumping, some slalom races, and some track. He wanted it all decked out too. He wanted some snow statues and a little but of music and somehting to eat. I was head of the snow statue comitte, he was head of the sports, and Brinker was head of the music and food. The Carnival was a hit. Brinker decided to steal cider and we all stole it on him. He got very angry unfortuantly. Their was also a Decathlon which was to waslk the halfcirlces of statues on my hands, to blance on my head on top of the icebox on top of the Prize Table, to jump across the Naguamsett and land crashing in the middle of Quackenbush's boathouse. Although, it was not the cider that made me do all of this and made me surpass myself, it was this liberation we had torn gray enroachments of 1943, the escape we had connocted, this afternoon of mementary, illusory, special and separate peace. Then all of a sudden Brownine Perkins came to give a telegram. The telegram was from Leper and in the telegram it said that he was at his Christmas location and that he needs help and had escaped.

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Finny on my mind

Today, i went to visit Finny at his house. He had just recently shattered his leg and will not be able to participate in any sports. So when i went to visit him he was very happy. Until, i brought up the accident. I just can't take it anymore knowing that it was all my fault that i did this to him. So, i told him that on my way up to his house that i was thinking about him the whole time and the accident. I then went on to tell him that i caused it. Of course he did not believe a word i said. Then i told him that i jounced the limb and that i caused it. I jounced the limb on purpose just so he would fall. Like always Finny didn't believe it. But i was arguing with him that i did do it. I started to get real angry and i told him to stand up and hit me but that he can't anyways, that he can't even come near me. Then Finny got offended and said he would kill me if i would not shut up. Then i went on and said that he should go on and kill me and that now he knows what it feels like, now he knows himself. Finny was very upset at the comment that i made towards him and told me to leave and that i make him sick. I then realized that i just hurt Finny even more by telling him this. That i caused an even worse injury to him and that i must take it back. We then sat there in silence for a little while then i finnally broke the silence about asking him if he was coming back to Devon in a few weeks. He said yes, that he will be there by Thanksgiving anyways. I then knew that i had to get myself out of his house. So, the only way to do it was to make every false move. I told him that i had a long trip and that i don't sleep well on trains so I am not making very much sense. He then asked me if i was going to start living by the rules. I lied again and said "Oh no. i wouldn't do that." That had to be the biggest lie of them all.

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Secret Record

Today, Finny decides that he wants to break the school swimming record in the 100 yard free style. We were fooling around in the pool and near us was a big bronze plaque marked with events for which the school kept records. They were the 50 yards, 100 yards, and 220 yards. Under each was a slot with a marker fitted into It showing the name if the record-holder, his year, and his time. Under the "100 Yards Free Style" there was a name of "A. Hopkins Parker-1940-53.0 seconds." Then Finny recalls there not being A. Hopkins Parker. This was because he graduated before we got to the school. Now when i had told Finny this he got offended, simply because it was an insult to the class, and Finny had tremendous loyalty to the class, as he did to any group he belonged to. We looked around and no one happened to be in the pool. Finny decided he can beat the record. So we went and found a stop watch in the office. Finny got ready and he dove in. He went up and back up and back up and back and with no slack in his pace. Finally, his hand touched the end, and he looked up at me and asked how he did. I was in so much shock. Finny had beaten the record by .7 seconds. Finny was also shocked too. But the worst part is that there was not any witnesses and it won't count. But, Finny didn't seem to care. He was just pleased that he beat the record. But, me on the other hand was not. I was actually very upset because A. Hopkins Parker was now living a lie. His name was still up in bronze on the school record plaque and it was one big lie and Finny and i were the only ones who knew.

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