goodbye Finny :(

When Finny fell, it effected his bad leg. The doctor said that it was maybe a fracture and can be fixed. That night I snuck and went to Finny's window. He was extrmely mad a very upset. I was telling him that i was sorry and he tried so hard to move form the bed that he fell out of the bed his hand hitting the floor and his legs still up on the bed. I turned around from the window and squated down. I didn't know what to do. The next morning i woke up to a message from the doctor saying that i needed to bring Finny his clothes and his toliet things. I then got his suitcase and brought it over to him. He made me sit in on the bed for him and the way he said it to me was without friendliness or unfriendliness, not interested and not bored, not energenci and not languid. I out the suitcase down beside him and opened it. He was searching for it and i was just standing there. I finally said to Finny that the time i came to Boston i tried to tell him about the accident. He then asked me why i came lastnight and i told him becuase i felt like i belonged there, that i had to. Then Finny told me that he wished there wasn't a war. The reaosn for this being is because he wants to be in the war. He applied everywhere and they would not accept him because of his injury. Everyone told him that they didn't need him. That was the reaosn why he kept saying that there isn't a war, becuase he wanted to be a part of it but no one would allow him. I tried to tell him that he really doesn't need to be in the war and that he wouldn't do any good. I told him that he would hate EVERYWHERE if he went there. Finny then responded with "I'll hate it everywhere if I'm not in this war!" Then Finny asked me if in knew what i was doing up in the tree with him. I told him that i did but that how can he believe me? He said that he can or he thinks he can. Finally, he closed his eyes and with tears in them he said," I believe you. It's okay because i understand and I believe you. You're already shown me and i belive you." For the rest of the day it passed by quickly. Finny was going to get surgery and Dr. Stanpole was going to set the bone that afternoon. He told me to come back at 5:00. So, for the rest of the day I attened all my classes. Then around came 5 and i went to see Finny. The doctor had his head down and I was siitting in a chair. He but barely noticed me. He cuaght himself short and then sat down next to me. He put his hand on my lap and said that boys my age are going to have to deal with this now alot. He then told me that my bestfriend had died. He said that he thinks that as he was moving the one some of the marrow must have escaped into his blood stream and gond directly to his heart and stopped it. He said that's the only explanation. I hten noticed that his self-control was breaking up. It then actually came to me that Finny had died form the marrow of his bone flowing down his blood stream to his heart. I did not cry every about Finny. I didn't even cry at his funeral. I could not escape a feeling that htis was my own funeral, and you do not cry in that case.

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